Hello, New Year! | New Year Thoughts

Hello! It's been a while since my last post. I've been very busy with a lot of things, and aside from that, my mind has been occupied -- scenarios, problems, solutions, plans, and lots of stuff that made my last two months hard to bear with. But before I start, I want to greet you all with a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2020, without a doubt, was a tough year for most of us. We can't deny how hard it is to move forward considering the things and people we lost along the process. Personally, never in my wildest dream, had I imagined that I will experience a pandemic. I thought that the world is done writing the "pandemic" or "virus/disease outbreak" in our book of history. And I think, 2020 will be an infamous year in the 21st century.

I will stop reminiscing about bad things that happened last year. Let's go now to my main topic for my first blog of the year 2021!

I don't know and I don't understand why I'm so excited to see what will happen to me this year. Well, not only to me, but to the world as well. But before I talk about that, I just wanna share some of my realizations that is connected to what happened to me last year.

Removing what happened to the world last year from the context, 2020, for me was also a tough year to handle. Lots of realizations that affected my beliefs and lifestyle. Here are some:

I tried to take a break from the social media, which they called "social media detox". Social media detox is where you will stop using social media for a set period of time. Some are doing the seven-day detox, some are 30 days, others are longer than a couple of months, and there are people who choose a year-long social media detox. It's up to you if when you will use it again, or if you will ever use it again. I tried it for a couple of months. I forgot when I started, but what I did is I remove applications like Facebook, Twitter, Messenger, YouTube, and Instagram on my phone. Instagram is kinda different because we use Instagram in my work, so I'm still using it, but in laptop, not in the phone. I just logged out my personal account, and made a new one without followers and following only one -- Instagram!

The first few days were hard since messenger app is a common and widely use as a way of communicating to people away from you. I also see Facebook as my "news portal", my source of information and other important things. I admit that most of my time goes to social media. That's why I also admit that it is hard to do the detox I'm planning, but I'm determined to stop using it because everything I see in Facebook was negativity. And I can't deal with that because on the other hand, I'm having anxiety again.

First day will always be the hardest day because I wake up every morning, checking my phone first. I got used to wake up, check the phone, check for messages on messenger, browse on Instagram and check Facebook for news. It came to a point where I wanted to re-install those applications and stop my social media detox but thankfully I didn't and chose to continue my plan. The second and third day has passed, but I'm still doubting myself if I can do it. Fortunately, on the fourth day, I woke up without checking my phone. And I'm so happy that I survived one day without craving to use those apps. Then finally, I was successful in doing my two-month social media detox.

There is life outside your phone screen. I know how reliable social media platforms when it comes to news, information, and other things, but for those people who spend most of their time using their phones to browse the internet, please know that there is life outside that screen. Life is not only about gathering information, seeing all the trend looks, checking your crush's snapchat, having an update about your favorite actor, or watching a lot in internet. Life is way too more than those screens. I'm not against using social media. In fact, I'm aware that it can help us in a way we do know. But if you know that you're using it excessively, learn when to stop and/or try to control it 'coz too much will always be a bad thing.

Aside from social media detox, I also learned how to let go of people who doesn't deserve to be part of your life. I reconciled with a close friend -- a special friend. To be honest, our friendship is not perfect, well, is there any? I was shy at first to talk to him, make a first move to initiate a conversation, but I gathered all the courage I have in my pocket. Fortunately, it went well at first, unfortunately, it didn't last.

For me, losing a very close friend is harder than a break-up. So when my friend didn't talk to me anymore, I was so disappointed with myself. I asked myself lots of things and tried to remember everything I did; if I did something wrong, I said something that is kinda offending or below the belt, a lot. And then I realized that I didn't. For the record, this is the second time that he did something that is not right. I forgive him before and put everything behind. And even he did something wrong, I'm still the one who keeps on approaching, asking how is he and making him feel that I'm still his friend. But what he did the last time is not right. I always tell people that I'm trying to understand things beyond my limits. But your capability to understanding things, even if it is hard, doesn't mean that you're not allowed to get hurt. I treasure my friends the way I treasure my family because that's the way you should do it, right? Because friendship is a gift, a gem that should be treasured and kept forever.

After a few days of self-contemplating, I decided that I will try not to think about it. I already forgive that person even if he never said "sorry" to me, even if I didn't get any explanation, because I do understand what he did. But the glass is already broken. Yes, it can be fixed, but the crack line can't be removed.

Some people will not stay in your life just because you're good to them. They will leave you if they want, if they have the oppurtunity. At first, I blamed myself of what he did to me. But eventually, I realized that I didn't do anything to be in the situation where I questioned myself if I'm a good friend. I'm not a perfect friend but I know deep down that I'm not a bad one. Generally speaking, no one deserves to be left alone. No one deserves to be left hanging. I can forgive, no doubt. But in this case, forgiving doesn't mean reconciling.

I have a lot of realizations, but these two are on my top list for my 2020 REALIZATIONS because it changed one of my beliefs, it changed my perspectives in life and it changed my lifestyle.

For this year 2021, like the previous years, I'm not expecting any big thing or plot twist in my life. Besides, life is always giving us unexpected things that will help us grow and realized that there's always a rainbow after a storm. A silver lining. Light in the dark. No matter what the words are, my point is that there's always a hope.

To all my readers, I'm hoping that you learned something from what happened last year. I'm hoping that 2020 shaped you; made you stronger, braver, and a fearless fighter who will never give up. I'm praying that you will use what you learned last year in this new year and for the other years that will come.

2021, for me, is not just a typical new year. It is also the start of a new decade. I'm hoping and praying for the fast recovery of the world, for the people, of all living creatures.

Again, happy new year and I hope that 2021 will be a good year for all of us! Stay safe everyone! ❤

Thank you for reading! Keep exploring! :)