Letter to Myself | Words I Want to Say

"The first rule of kindness, is to be kind to yourself." -Anonymous

Dearest Trish,

It's been a while since the last time I checked up on you. How you've been? You're different now, not the one I knew. I guess you've changed. I hope it's for good.

We have so much to talk about. I have so many questions. I want to know many things about you now. This will be a long one, are you ready?

How old are you again? Ah, 26. Wow! It seems like a long time ago, you've been dreaming of being an adult. But now, look where you are. Ang layo mo na, sobrang layo mo na.

Time flies so fast. If we look back, it seems like it all happened yesterday. Do you still remember when you were a kid, when you wanted nothing more than to play outside with your friends? Then you will cry when you are put to bed in the afternoon, but instantly feels joy when time to play again. Wait, do you remember when you were in pre-school? Don't you love playing in the playground on the side of your room non-stop, to the point that Teacher Flor needs to talk to you and say it's already time to go home? Well, on the foundation day at school, then you were with Kuya, and Mama even told Kuya not to let you go? Nakakaloka! Wait, when was "My potchi one, piso dalawa" got popular in your school? OMG! Nostalgia! Then when you were in 4th Grade, when your front tooth broke and you didn't know how to say that it happened. You're so nervous, aren't you? Hahaha! But wait, you also auditioned in 4th Grade and got into Drum & Lyre. You are lucky because you were Top 7 in class when you auditioned, and you are qualified because they are looking for top students. Are you kidding, Top 7, in the class?! You're so good! But of course, there is nothing better than the 5th and 6th Grade Theresa who is consistently in the Top 10 throughout both school years. Do you remember when you made it to Top 3?! Until now, every time I remember that, I still can't believe it. You're so awesome!

But everything changed when you entered in High School. You think you're smart, but realized that you're just a hard working student. But hey, that's more than enough! Don't think that you're not good. What's the point of being smart if you're lazy, right? Even you didn't make it to the Top 10, you always worked hard and always passed -- enough proof that you are great just like them! Also, wait, you're smart! Are forgetting that you're 3rd Place in the Slogan Making Contest, and you also managed to entered Top 10 in one of your subjects! You had many achievements in high school, because you're great!

Fast forward to when you were in college -- do you remember how your college life changed your outlook on life? Imagine, your college life is like a free trial in young adult life, minus studying academics. But nevertheless, it really changed some of your perspective, not only in life, but also in love.

Then after that, boom! -- a banner with WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD flashed in your face. You graduated, worked at your first job, decided to leave after you realized it's not for you, you've been to rock-bottom, but managed to get out of that, then found a new job, and eventually decided to explore and find new company that will give you more learnings, and now, look where you are.

You're now living one of your dreams -- to give back to your parents, to provide for them, to help them. Ang layo mo na, sobrang layo mo na.

You're living one of your dreams. Let that sink in. Let that statement serve as a proof that you're doing great, that you are a great person!

I see that you are tired, that you sometimes doubt yourself, that you question your worth. I see that you are stressed, you are struggling, you are weak, you are annoyed, you are hurt, but the worst of all, I see that sometimes you want to give up.

No one else understands you so deeply other than me. So believe me when I say I understand everything you're going through -- the pain, the pressure, the hardship, everything. And believe me, giving up is not an option. It will never be.

Why are you thinking of giving up? Is it because you feel that what you give is not enough, is it because you think that your effort is insufficient, is it because you see that they do not appreciate your sacrifices? If so, you are wrong. You are wrong.

You've done a lot, yet, you're still giving what you can. You sacrificed enough, yet, you think they deserve more. Most of the time, you always choose them, yet, you want to give up even your little time to rest. You're so kind to them, but not to yourself. You're so generous, but you're selfish to yourself. Why? What did you do wrong to punish yourself like that?

Trish, please don't be hard on yourself. You don't deserve that. Just like other people that you give importance to, you too are important; you are a treasure that needs to be loved, to appreciate, to be taken care of. Among all the people in your life, only you can give to yourself that right love and right care. Please, be kind to yourself.

When the time comes when you feel bad about yourself, always think of the child you were before. Do you want to see her hurt? Do you want to see her give up? Do you to disappoint her and tell her that you can't make it? Make her proud. Make that little girl inside you be proud of how strong you are. You've come a long way, and you are doing great because you're an amazing person. You are kind, always kind, you are generous and understanding of the people you love, so please, be kind to yourself too.

I hope, deep down on yourself, you know how proud I am. I understand that what you feel and what you think is normal for a hurt person. Indeed you've changed. You became stronger. But being stronger is not enough if you're not kind to yourself, so always remember to be good to yourself too. Always choose to be kind to yourself, always.

With all the love inside you,

Yourself

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