Acceptance is the key | My Moving Forward Story

It's hard to lose someone you really loved.

From the moment you used to talk with him every minute, to be with him every single day. It's really hard to accept that he's gone. He's no longer in your arms. The person who used to be your favorite person is now with someone else, having his new favorite girl.

When he left me that night crying in my room, I asked myself, "what did I do wrong?". I didn't stop asking myself since the day he broke up with me. I started to doubt my worth. I doubted myself as a partner, and even as a person. I know the answers, believe me. But I don't know how to explain it to myself. All I know is that I'm in pain. I'm broke. I'm useless. I'm worthless.

From that moment, I know I'm lost. I don't know where I am -- nowhere to be found. I don't know where I lost myself. I became hopeless. Started to believe that I deserve to die because I'm worthless. I came to the point where I made up my mind to end my life. While preparing, I heard a little voice inside my head saying that I should take a rest. (Maybe a nap since I'm crying all day long). I don't know what happened but I fell asleep. It was four in the morning when I woke up. I turned on the television and saw that there is an ongoing mass, however, the mass is about to end soon. As I planned to turn it off, the priest said, "Maraming rason para maging malungkot at maramdaman mong miserable ang buhay mo. Pero tandaan mo na mas maraming rason para maging masaya ka." (Translated: There's a lot of reasons for you to be sad and to feel that you have a miserable life. But always remember that there is more reason for you to be happy)

I was shocked. I felt that God made His way to talk to me. I cried and realized that there were still a lot of reasons for me to fight. My family, and my friends, believed in me. They showed and made me feel that I'm loved, that I'm important.

After that day, I tried to compose myself. I did everything just to get back on track. I admit it's hard - really really hard. There was a time when I almost wanted to give up again, but I reminded myself that I need to fight. I need to be strong because there are people who believe in me. And of course, there is God who will never get tired of me. He didn't give up, so who am I to give up?

The moment I realized everything, I also realized that the first step to moving forward is not to forgive. BUT TO ACCEPT.

I've been through a lot. I was hurt. I cried, stumbled, and fell. Got to the point where I want to end my life so I will no longer feel any pain, any heartaches, or anything. For several months, I keep on doubting myself, my worth, and my existence. Can't find any exact word to describe my situation aside from MISERABLE. I can't even think straight, and even knowing what's right or wrong became difficult for me. I felt like I'm in the middle of nowhere - stuck together with pain. Until God gave me one answer -- ACCEPTANCE.

I accepted everything with all my heart, without any doubt or hesitation. It's hard to do it all at once. But like what they always say, "small progress is still progress". It may be hard from the first, but as soon as you accept the hardest thing that you must do, it will be easier for other things that follow. It took a month for me to accept everything -- what happened, his mistakes, my mistakes, everything. And from the day I accepted it all, I'M HEALED. It feels like my soul escaped from the thing that made me miserable. And today, I can finally say that I'M BETTER AND HAPPIER.

Sometimes, we keep on asking about everything even though we already know the answers. But for me, it's normal. Why? Because the truth hurts. You know the answer but you keep on asking why because you want to hear lies. You want to make yourself feel better by believing all the lies. Considering that the truth hurts, let's all admit that in the end, the truth will always set you free. You just have to accept it.

Once we experienced pain we always say that we don't want to experience it again. Right? In relationships, once your partner leaves you, you may start doubting your worth. The fact is, it's normal - to feel lost, empty, and worthless. But always remember that there is God. You have your family, relatives, and friends who believe in you and will make you feel how special you are to them. You just have to keep in your mind that no matter how many times you tell yourself that you're worthless, you need to accept the truth that there are still people who can see your worth and who will always love you no matter what.

ACCEPTANCE IS ONE OF THE KEYS TO A WONDERFUL LIFE. ONCE YOU ACCEPT EVERYTHING, ALL THINGS WILL FOLLOW -- SUCH AS LETTING GO, FORGIVENESS, HAPPINESS, AND CONTENTMENT.

Thank you for reading! Keep exploring! :)